Dear Wander,

I feel your pain. It's difficult because it is difficult. But realize that this is difficult and it is. By rejecting that you can quit smoking or drinking alcohol in one day or even a couple days isn't enough. You need to commit to it and be serious about it, or else you'll continue this pattern where you'll feel you have an idea and plan, and it becomes all mush. The cycle continues when you begin to self-medicate.

First step is acceptance, radical acceptance, know that you are powerless over this, and fighting over it is just going to cause more pain to yourself and even to others if you're not careful. Once you begin to see it in its true form, it's a problem and come to realization that you need help, then progress can begin. Yes, your seeing a therapist and are working on it. But if you continue to relapse like this, it might be too late and all your chances to get sober is over. But know there's always hope even in the worst of times, which I personally think is where true learning begins.

There's something in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) called "Turning the Mind." When you feel like drinking, smoking, or the impulse to do it, you can essentially "turn the mind" towards acceptance, and know that you're stuck and you feel crappy, but it's okay. This is called Mindfulness, being aware of your feelings and urges without reacting to them. In essence, you'll see it point-blank without being a slave to your impulses.

I wish you the best of luck. I'm sorry it's been very hard for you.

-berlingots