((Mouse))

Ohhh, I so understand your fear. I have just recently begun to understand my fragmentation and the great degree of dissociation (splitting) that I do. I too found it frightening and also sad. I told T how sad it made me and he understood...I also said that I felt it was progress, (like your feelng of wholeness) because when I first started coming to see him I didn't even realize I was splitting or dissociating--I just thought I was confused. Now I know that the confusion is part of the breaking away.

I told my T that I didn't want to give up my dissociation and he said he didn't think I had to--that the brain had a marvelous way of protecting me as a child--and so yours did too.

For me, it's about trying to stay in the moment more now because I don't want to be so sad in the future about missing huge chunks of my life, (but I guess that won't happen the more I become "whole").

I don't have alters, but I do have voices--so to speak--that tell me to clam up; don't tell; keep it in; etc., etc.

And I have had moments of great confusion in session--arggh, it's such an inner struggle.

So, be good to your little girl who was abandoned....and love her like a good Mommy. You can do that for her.

Best wishes.