I agree with others who have the sense that they wouldn't want to be in therapy with someone who had expectations of them. Therapists hold hope alive, and that may mean that there are some things they would like to see, but that isn't quite the same as having an expectation.

They aren't really supposed to have expectations, even minimal ones, because that is about them and their needs and agenda, not about you, your needs, and your own agency in finding your way through and onto something that is more workable.

I find that it is my expectations both of therapy and myself that are the things I need to focus on. They have gotten in the way instead of guiding me. Sometimes they have been unrealistic, or harsh on myself, or idealizing of the therapist. These are common pitfalls as we work in this type of odd environment but still it is actually letting go of expectations that has been more the challenge and work.

Once I took a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course and the teacher said something that I will never forget: "Be careful about the subtle aggressions of self-improvement."

We do want change, which is a good thing, but it can also turn into a way of not accepting what is really the case and/or denying the now for a future oriented curative fantasy. Both can be ways in which we are "mean" to ourselves instead of having self-compassion, which may be even harder than compassion for others.