I was wondering how you were doing so I just checked your thread. I am sorry you are so depressed right now with this challenge.

I think your mother is just angry that her life changed so much with your father's death.
Often this anger part of grieving comes a year or even two after a major life change like this. Her behavior towards you is expressing this anger and it isn't healthy for either of you. If she is saying she is not feeling well and wants to see a doctor, she should be taken to a doctor. Part of her behavior could just be her way of not wanting any more changes to happen, her way of trying to gain control, even though it isn't healthy.

I think you should get her to a doctor and finish your project. You can't make a huge change overnight and it isn't doing you any good to beat yourself up either and sit and convince yourself you are "crushed" from morning until night. You have a problem, yes, and you need to set a path on figuring out how to slowly work your way out of it. So, get her to the doctor and get your project done first, that is what comes next.

(((Hugs)))
OE