You're desperately in need of help, for yourself, at this time. You need to be healthy to be able to help anyone else. You come first, there will be unexpected consequences, I know that the unknown and risks can be scary

But I get it. I'm also living with my parents and will do things for their approval. My parents want us divorced. I even told them I will, but have no plans to split. I am tolerating their disapproval right now, and they seem to be backing off, but still expecting lectures.

My mom is controlling it was way worse years ago. My dad kicked me out when I was out for 'too long'. I felt like I needed them for everything and anything. I didn't believe I can do things on my own. I put importance on my then-Bf to get our own place just so I can get away from my dysfunctional family. My little sister went to live with her friend just to get away