Quote:
Originally Posted by Mefisto
All my life i have been weak, insecure, feminine, emotionally vulnerable, not confident type of guy, raised without a father. And all my life i loved the masculine fictional characters, like Tony Soprano or Clint Eastwood roles and wanted to be like one of them. But i never could.
I struggle so hard and worked on myself a lot and after all came to conclusion that no matter what i will do, the change will be very insignificant. I picked up boxing and gym training, but still feel insecure as hell.
It seems like will never be confident enough to stop caring about what other people think and live life on my terms - i always care more about other people opinions that my own. I will never be confident enough to do the cold approach with unknown girl - i tried to many times and always i freeze up. Girls will never feel secure and protected around me - my ex-gf was afraid to have street-walks with me during the night time and she was right, because i could not protect her. I will never be confident enough to be a leader for people - i always have been a follower. Are all those assumptions true or do i have the hope to change?
Recently my therapist said that "you will never be macho alpha type of guy, accept it and get used to your role". It was very sad truth, i guess he is right. My insecurities are so fundamental that maximum that i can do is to minimize them instead of erasing them.
Do you think there are limits to change? Can one very beta-type of guy gradually become alpha-type of guy?
|
You can change some, maybe not entirely, but some. All my life, I'd been a very highly emotional person, sensitive, always a follower JUST LIKE YOU.. I fit the BPD and bipolar 2 diagnoses. Recently, however, I've undergone a transformation you would not believe if you knew me. It takes a lot of time, of course, but you can get there, if you want to.
As you gain life experience, especially adversities, you will realize that too much emotion is not good. It helps to analyze each situation calmly and react almost like a machine. You will learn more about your own self - your strengths and weaknesses. You will learn not to wear your heart on your sleeve, because people will exploit your weaknesses. You will learn to only project a part of yourself ... that of a confident man who knows himself inside n out. He's not perfect, he doesn't have to be, just has to know his strengths and weaknesses. You can get there. If I can, you can.
You don't have to be a leader - a CEO or a captain or a whatever. Just be confident of yourself, protect yourself AT ALL COSTS, do not lose your cool, and do not let others take advantage of you. Those are truly masculine qualities, in my opinion. You will get there eventually, if you introspect, learn from your life experiences, and are willing to work hard at getting stronger.
How old are you ?