I'm sorry your having a rough go. I am glad you have an appointment, Hopefully your Pdoc will be able to prescribe something to just slow you way down and you can avoid an IP stay.

All the negative thoughts are Bipolar, it lies. Hard to remember than when your in such a horrible place, Try to remember that, Write it down on paper maybe that will help remind you. ( I do this)

Stay safe and make sure your honest to your Pdoc. Hope your feeling better very soon