Within the last 3 days I have become extremely manic. I overdrew my bank account a lot, my mind won't stop racing. I have fleeting thoughts of suicide, but I don't think I'd actually do it, but I did have a plan the other day. I actually have a PDOC appointment @315 tomorrow that was already planned. Which is ironic. I'm sleeping surprisingly. But I have all these racing thoughts that won't stop. I have considered calling our crisis line and asking them for help but I don't want to go in the hospital. I mean I just don't want to do it. I usually end up in the back room when I go and I am not good when I am alone.

I don't know what to do. Most meds poop out on me after a few months, and I just went through a very manic cycle in November which put me out of work for a month. The winter is horrible for me. I hate my life. I feel I have no purpose on this earth. I also feel like a burden, which sucks.