Over today I have become hypomanic and now am in a mixed state. I am wild inside and have had 4 drinks already, plus countless cones. I am incredibly agitated and cannot sit still but the euphoria has passed. My thoughts race. Again I am self-medicating...damn. I understand, as much as I can, how you feel. It is so difficult managing bipolar and substance abuse. I hope you can stay safe and don't become more unwell.

My plan now is to go into a holding pattern until I see my pdoc in 10 days. Once I see him I will set a plan to find stability without needing to self-medicate. My therapist is awsome and very knowlegable so he is helping me from falling further over the edge but while I am in such a crazy mood it is almost impossible to stop.