OK here is a question that has been chasing me for a great part of my life and speaking of life I was really scared this last time I had surgery and thought why should I be scared I did this 6 times before but something inside of me and the look in my wife eyes really hit me ok to the question how do I over come the fact that at my age I have made a total mess out of everything handed to me and yes I am happy but I am not happy does that make sense I lived so much did so many things raised kids did the married and divorced thing which was stupid but here I sit laid up in my chair just looking back and trying to leave all that behind and try and give my wife / my kids / my grand babies the best that I can even though I can't dance like I use to there is still something I can do before my time