Jimi, in the USA, doctors can listen. They can't talk about patients without permission from the patient and they can't even say, "Yes, that's my patient." But they can listen. I know, because I've called doctors when I was concerned and they listened.

I started out by saying something like, "I know confidentiality rules don't allow you to tell me anything, but Mr. X has told me you're his doctor and I have some information that might be important." Then I sum it up as quickly as possible because doctors here aren't much for chatting, even if they know you. They listened, sometimes they asked "hypothetical" questions, and usually they acted.

If you can find out who the doctor is, it might be more effective to write a letter expressing your concerns. You will never get a response, but you will know you took action. Patients are sometimes good at getting themselves together for the 15 minutes of an average doctor's appointment. They pull themselves together to look good for the doctor and many pull it off.

You say he's 55+. Closer to 55 than say 75 or 85? 55 and thereabouts is very young for dementia. Some drugs can mimic dementia, most notably some of the statins, drugs to control incontinence, anti-histamines and drugs for bi-polar, such as Depacote.

You might ask your friend if he's taking any medications for anything at all. A list might help you figure this out. I have a friend who lost her memory and smarts while taking Lipitor, a statin anti-cholesterol drug. When she stopped taking it, her memory and intelligence returned within 2 weeks. She had holes in her memory from when she was on the drug, but everything else came back. It's worth asking about.

I wish you the best.