Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankbtl
Hi vanfam, I'd say that it was time to give him the ultimatum of getting help (and you can support him in finding it if needed) or you leaving the relationship/marriage.........do you think??
It sounds like it's not getting any better, in fact you said it had worsened...........and a genuinely loving/supportive relationship/marriage doesn't include a lack of trust and accusations (daily!!), this is sounding more like an emotionally abuse relationship/marriage more than anything else.
It really is great that you are understanding about his past and want to support him.........and if he was recognising the need/wanting/trying to take steps, and getting help in resolving things then sure I can see how it might be " mutually beneficial" in you sticking by him/supporting him/being there for him.........but he isn't is he? And you have got to think about yourself too in all of this, and you don't deserve to be treated this way.
Alison |
Thank you for the response. I have actually been to therapy myself and she told me the same thing. To take care of myself first because I deserve to. She also said before I make any major decisions I should do this for a while because when one "dynamic of a family changes so do all the rest". I agree with her but at the same time it is almost impossible because I have to stick my ground and that makes my husband think that I am being selfish. The only reasoning I am sticking out for a little while longer is because I do recognize he has a disease and I wouldn't leave if he got cancer. However, I do know that I have to take care of myself and you are right I do not deserve to be treated that way.
I am just wondering if you personally have dealt with jealousy in a relationship and what did you do to help the situation?