Im going between depressed and suicidal. I missed my pdoc appointment yesterday cos I was crying too much to drive all that way and had no one to take me. Not to mention I got booted by a horse so Im sat with ice on feeling more sorry for myself.

I dont want to drink anymore but I dont want to feel like this. PRN (5mg ativan, 5-10mg wafers of zyprexa) does nothing at the moment. I cant get any drugs, I cant even leave the house. I cant call lifeline cos they send the cops, I cant contact any of my mates as they are all at work.

Sorry to whinge on your thread, feeling hopeless.