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If it works for you, then great. I don't see where any of it would be lying or not lying but if such a thing helps you mentally do therapy the way you want to do it - super
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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