>>Having to monitor my vocabulary before we've even gotten to know each other is too stressful for me.

Just want to acknowledge that you are right, this is his problem. If you were feeling well, you would have the option of trying to work with him being careful of your wording (and even then you might decide you preferred someone who you could be more free with) but if it is causing you stress than there is no reason to try to live with that stress.

It causes him stress to hear those things, it causes you stress to have to try not to say them. His stress is not more important than your stress. It is nice to help others but your responsibility is to take care of yourself. His responsibility is to take care of himself.

That is not to say this can't work out. If you can be open and honest you might be able to find a spot to be supportive of each other that benefits both of you, rather than a spot where both of you are so worried about taking care of the other that you are draining each other's energy. You may or may not be in a place yourself to be in a relationship like that.

There is nothing wrong with looking for someone who is "less maintenance". That may sound contradictory because we also want the people in our lives to be supportive of us. But I've said elsewhere that it is up to those people to discover and set and let you know their own boundries, and be honest with us, and help us where they can, but not to feel obligated to the point where they resent it. This is the same thing with you on the other side. If right now dealing with that stress is going to be hurtful then you should not try to force it. That is your boundry right now. We are all better able to give support when we are strong and well ourselves.

The situation you DON'T want to be in is someone who supports you but then uses that to manipulate you into feeling guilty for it. If there is a question of that, run to the nearest exit <g>.

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