Quote:
Originally Posted by mian síoraí
You sound so panicky. I could hardly understand everything that's going on; had to read your posts twice. Can you take anti-anxiety meds to help you get through this? no. I don't have any, nor do I have a way to get any...
Yes, it seems like it from the outside. I understand fearfulness and thought maybe you are catastrophizing like I do? most likely. I do that when I get anxious about something. add to that my feelings of having done something wrong by asking to return to the agency, and the impact of the flashbacks, I'm probably way past catastophizing and on to full-on "yup, there goes the planet"... :/
I don't understand. If they are trying to help you, why is it bad to be unstable? because they do trauma therapy, and will not do it with anyone in crisis. i get it on one end, but also hate it. crisis is my default setting when things get overwhelming (trying to work on that), and addressing trauma is overwhelming. BUT they are one of the only places around that will address trauma (at a community resource level)... and they specialize in csa. so I don't want to screw up my second chance at this.
Big  calm (((hugs)))  |
I'm also feeling a lot of internal pressure to address these flashbacks. They are highly disturbing. I have no real idea if they are accurate, but they are very intrusive and overwhelming. There have been a few times this week where I almost mentioned details to family or friends, and I am certainly not ready for that. I don't want to point fingers if I don't know for sure it's accurate. BUT I know I need to address the topic with someone. I'm not sure how much more I can handle them at this intensity.
And maybe I want validation that it's ok to dump all this on a new T, because I need to dump it somewhere safe real soon.