I'm just gonna be blunt and point out a few things.

You are allowing her to maintain control , You seem to "always" fold and tell her directly that "she wins"

You chose to stop going to the pool. You did that. Because of your mom.

You gave up your relationship with the GF. Because of your mom .

You You You gave in , caved, allowed her to win win win win across the board.

You do talk about long term goals of moving out.. That is wonderful , But meanwhile, your dog padding around in a mud puddle of defeatism. Yeah your in a shyt situation. But the reality is she has already taken " everything" from you. Why not just revolt 100% , go about YOUR life. Do as you please . What is the worse she can do ? have a hissy fit ? threaten? Of course, She already does this and she always wins, again because you allow her too.

My blunt advise ........ Just be a MAN grow a pair and do and see whomever you choose, now not once your able to afford to move out. I would rather surf my friends couch or live a awhile out of my car than to let any one Dictate to every tiny detail what I can and can't do.

I don't mean this to be mean, I don't. I am only saying this in hope that you can just have a life on your terms and not be emotionally bullied into her "allowing" you to do so. You can make excuse after excuse about why you cant do this or that, hey, if you want to stay under her thumb... just let everything proceed as is.

If not .. well just go life your life.