In your shoes I would never return to the wife.
The calculation seems simple enough to me....
Life with wife equals abuse and misery, life without wife equals happiness.
In my book, you made the right decision in leaving, I would never advise someone to stay with their abuser.
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DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD
"The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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