What is this , post # 107? 108?

You two are stuck in a bizarre dynamic. On an emotional level, you are not equals.

Initially, she is the adult, you are the child. She dictates your actions and you submit. Then, because you have taken the role as child, you rebel. You push boundaries, which is only natural.

You argue.

Somewhere in this the roles flip.

You become the adult and she becomes the child. The more reasoned your position, the more immature her response.

Eventually, she issues an ultimatum and the fight stops. You go back to your initial roles.

I have a feeling that this has been happening for so long that it is "normal" for you.

Nothing in your life is as important to you as the relationship you have with her and the drama that it brings.

YOU discard people and opportunities to grow so you can keep this dysfunction alive.

As long as you do this, you avoid being an adult. Is that the pay off?

You wouldn't be in this place unless you wanted to be.