I normally don't like to give advice like this, and I'm not a therapist, but yeah I think you need a divorce. Your wife sounds smothering, codependent, and abusive. I feel like I get where you're at a bit because my mother is crazy, and I've also witnessed similar in the past.

I would think of your kids and the example you are setting, you'll want them to stand up for themselves in a similar situation. There's nothing wrong with having friends or talking to a neighbor... I think deep down you know what you should do, it's just scary and difficult. Sorry you're going through all this!