This thread is helpful to me too. Soccer mom, I can identity with your feelings about being close to your T. It feels wonderful but I don't trust it 100%. I know my T is not going to purposely abandon me, but something may happen and I'll be devastated. I think it's taken me all 5 years of therapy to feel really good about my relationship with my T but everyone is different. You're doing hard work in your therapy and I admire you.