I agree with SD. You can understand/describe something even if you haven't personally experienced it. We learn not just from things happening to us, but from reading, watching others, listening to others. And sometimes you can't describe something even if you have experienced it. None of us truly know what another person experiences, butwe can still relate. That's why there's such thing as empathy. Can a T describe what it's like to have Schizophrenia even if they don't have it?

Kinda off topic, but still related: I disagree with the phrase "You can't love others unless you love yourself first". For one, that's definitely black and white thinking. But it also playings into the chicken or the egg debate. Life isn't all or nothing, black or white.

I was going to respond to this post when I first saw it, but I was struggling with how to describe trust. I do trust my T, just to different degrees. A lot of the things I don't trust her about doesn't have anything to do with her, but mostly about my past.

Some examples...

I trust my T:
* to respect my boundaries (physical and emotional)
* to uphold confidentiality
* to be honest
* to have my best interest (doesn't mean she's always right)
* to only give as much information as needed when she has to communicate with others about my treatment.

I don't trust my T:
* to not abandon me
* to not judge me
* to communicate with my family (but that's because I don't trust my family)

How does that look? That's a difficult question. I guess it's by me being open and honest with her, not constantly questioning her, following her advice, not trying to control her words or actions, by allowing myself to be myself with her, disclosing difficult things, allowing her to touch me (and it actually feels comforting), not terminating her (especially when I felt betrayed/abandoned by her), etc.

How does my not trusting her look? I am constantly needing reassurance that she isn't leaving me, that I haven't made her mad (and if I did, I frantically try to "fix" the problem), having difficulties fully opening up about difficult issues, needing reassurance that she doesn't judge me, etc.

Trust can come and go for each person and with different aspects of each relationship. I don't think it's possible to 100% trust anyone. Hell, I don't even 100% trust myself. I think trust takes time and effort. I think it's a give and take sort of thing.. a two-way street. But trust isn't necessarily equal. I might trust my T with some of my difficult issues, doesn't mean she trusts me with hers.

Idk. Trust is a complex topic imo.