I am afraid
Afraid that every time I leave my house something awful will happen
to one of my kids

I am afraid
that my youngest son will have a health crisis again and he will have a stroke and die
or be dead when I get there

I am afraid
that my gentle, oldest son will suffer the consequences of a small town's prejudice
and will be in jail
because someone was afraid of his schizophrenia

I hold my breath
24/7
because I am terrified
of these things I can't control

and those things I couldn't control
way back when