I want to say thank you to every person who's replied and posted on this thread. I haven't been on for a long enough time to reply to everyone really, but I've read each reply and I appreciate all of your input so much. I'm carefully considering what my next steps will be, and I have you all to thank for the confidence to take control of my situation and to let go of the guilt I feel.
Hugs to you all (even though I said I didn't want them I was just being crabby), and good luck to everyone.