hi seemslost
well i think i would be hurt for having not been told but then thinking about it i would realize that in the gooeyness of love, none of that stuff matters. couples believe they can conquer anything that comes along.

that being said, if i remember my highschool biology, i think it is only a 25% chance of passing it along if one party is carrying the gene. it has to be a recessive gene or that party would have the illness which means they would be contributing a good gene and a tainted gene to the gene pool along with the other persons 2 good genes.

and what is so horrible if the child does get it? blind people are people too. it is a disability like any other that you would have to deal with and one that has had many advances in society to deal with it. my child started going blind at 8 due to a genetic issue we knew nothing about. he got special services in school, all kinds of advantages. fortunately within 6 years he had transplants and could see again, so i know it isnt quite the same. but people with disabilities are strong, they overcome challenges. you raise them to do that.

welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome