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Ipse_Dixit said:

. If I call with the words "I miss you", no matter how true, they could compromise things and make her feel some "sentimental obligation" to answer the questions how I want to hear them, as opposed to what is real.

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Ummm..I havent read all of your posts and if Im off base just tell me. You seem like a really decent person to me. "sentimental obligation"....means she likes you...how is that different from what "is real"? People come with feelings...its being human...

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Ipse_Dixit said:
so i'll likely just go on "missing my therapist" without telling her, at least for a couple weeks, and then I will reassess.... and just try to assure that 5 year old part of me that there is a reason for it.

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My impression is youre throwing up all these road blocks becasue youre scared. Could you be creating these things to throw yourself off the track of getting close? Youre throwing yourself red herrings i think.. all this anxiety could be interpreted as a good sign..that youre bonding with your T...youre doing a lot of good work and I imagine youre exhausted...but keep in mind what you said yourself..."driving yourself..." I think all this resistance means youre on the right track and dont be afraid...I know its easier said then done..Hang in there Ipse Dixit.

You know how I feel about my T. I understand the scariness of it...when he said those things to me I was devastated....buthe explained himself and I grew from the whole thing. It sucks putting yourself out there, but unfortunately I think its the only way...You have to just put yourself out there.

I cant imagine why anyone would not like you. If they dont theyre just a jackasss anyway.