Candybear -- The man I lived with for 15 years *called from California* to our home in Florida to tell me it was over. Bec. he said, I was "forcing him into a relationship he didn't want" bec. I asked if he'd marry me if I didn't find another job soon enough, so he could put me on his health insurance. SoI could afford expensive tests that monitor for kidney failure and can potentially save my life.

He couldn't have run father unless he fell off the edge of the continent. Message: I'd rather that you die than be married to you. After 15 years. And finances so intertwined it took a lawyer anyway to make things legal.

Fast answer to iDexter: After what happened with Paul, therapists tell me I may love again but may never trust a partner completely again. Life is complicated enough without a high-maintenance from the get-go. There's plenty of time for helping each other thru rough spots after the bonds have formed.