Well this is some hard stuff to take right now. My boyfriend suffers with bp and schizophrenia and was having problems that put him in a group home tonight. They had him in respite so many times that now he has to stay in a facility for a whole 2 years. I won't get to see him much at all anymore. Only in passing at times. Because I used to be a patient at the place he's staying at and I can't go see him since its against the rules. We will only be having phone and mail contact now.

This is so hard on me since we are so close to each other. We are soulmates and have been together for 7 years. I love him with a passion and I dont know what Im going to do without him around anymore.

There is no way in my heart that Im going to break up with him over this. I will still love him and I won't date another human being as long as I shall live.

It seems like whoever I get close to in my life dies or has some other circumstance happen where I can't see them anymore. Its not fair at all. Im not getting super close to another person as long as I live even if its a really close friendship. Im safeguarding myself from that. Because you just can never depend on this stuff. If anyone asks me to hang out I will tell them "No." from now on.

I feel much safer anyway alone where I can have all the control and there's no other person there. So that my feelings don't get crushed like they have been most of my life.

I will be the lone traveler for the rest of my life......