Step off the guilt train , your "assuming" a lot of things that have no truth to to them.

Pick a day and be a kid, do kid stuff , watch cartoons, go to the park and go play on the slide spin your self on the swings until you almost wanna hurl . Eat icecream for lunch,or whatever you want.

Last time I gave myself a kid day? Hell it was the best !!! It recharged me.

Don't guilt yourself in a corner. Life is tough and short. Have some fun.