I would seek a second opinion on the chances of it being passed along.. I can't imagine it being 50% if only one person is positive. I of course could be wrong but second opinions are always a good thing to do.

As for the worries about loving a baby that is or isnt 100% of you both? well , once you lay eyes on a baby your going to raise most people just forget about all that stuff..

Your marriage and what happens or doesn't happen needs to be between you and her , not you her and parents and coworkers.

I think couples Therapy would benefit your both.

Welcome to PC