I have been in a relationship for just over a year. I was open with my partner about my mental health from the start as his ex also had Borderline Personality. He has depression and anger issues. So from the beginning there was bound to be struggles.
Lately I am feeling overwhelmed and extremely anxious as I feel we are becoming more and more distant.
I don't trust him and I don't know if it is something that can improve and if so, I don't know what I can do to start improving it.

I see my boyfriend on weekends as I work during the week. He is unemployed and does not have his license. We use to see eachother for 1 night during the week but he did not want to continue with it because of his anxiety on trains & lack of money. I pay for practically everything as he always says he doesn't have any money but then I find out he regularly buys items that he wants. He makes up stories and then a few weeks later contridicts himself. E.g - he told me he had lost his license and owns an Impala then a few weeks later asks for driving lessons and said he wished he had the money to buy an Impala, he told me he was in the army but when I asked why he didn't write it on his resume (as it has been his only apparent job) he tells me it wasn't just a job to him and he doesn't consider it as a job. Although due to his age and mental/physical health I don't think he would be eligible. He has a daughter to his ex girlfriend and I am not allowed to be present when he visits her. His ex doesn't know he is in a relationship (because he fears she will take his daughter away from him) and if she rings I have to keep quiet so she doesn't hear me. Then there is the fact he is protective with his phone. He never leaves his phone around me - if his phone is charging on the bedside table, he won't let me lay on the side of the bed that it's next too, he won't answer calls or read text until I am out of sight. He always puts his phone face down so the screen isn't visible. He says he has no friends (except 1 in another state) but is frequently texting and if I ask it's always the same person. I have never met any of his friends or extended family. I have caught him talking to a girl on a dating website, but he insisted he was trying to find friends. I have caught him lying about who he is texting/calling and it's always some girl who needs advice. All these incidents have broken my trust which causes constant battles because I can't let go. Recently we have been having less sex..I could stand naked or wear lingerie infront of him and he wouldn't even notice. I can't initiate sex because it makes him uncomfortable and I want it too much. So, I have to wait until he wants it and it's my fault if he doesn't want it because he's stressed and I keep bringing up the past...
My self esteem is destroyed. My trust is gone and my mental health is going down hill.

When we are good, we are great but the trust has gone. He said this year will be different but I don't see it.

I need advice! How do I deal with this? Is my BPD causing me to over think and over react to these situations? Is it worth it? Am I being paranoid? Can trust be rebuilt? I keep pushing and pulling him because I'm scared he will leave but I don't want to be with someone doesn't appreciate me.

Thanks!