You gave me no choice. I have to start with this:
I was reading your reply so intently that when I got to this, I missed the pun. Omg. This made me crack up! That was so awesome. I completely needed a good laugh. Ty!

My T is always joking around with me. She'll even do it when I'm crying to cheer me up. I tell her she's taking advantage of the fact that my depression is atypical and not melancholy. She says she does it because she likes my smile and enjoys my personality. But it's not just her poking fun at me. We also make fun of her. I'm her only client that's scared of her, so she calls herself an evil monster and her office is hell. Even today she apologized for having a scratchy voice for talking too much. I told her it's her fault for choosing two professions where she has to talk a lot (teaching and therapy). I think joking around with someone provides a sense of authenticity and even a sense of safety. My family always tells people that you know they care when they make fun of you because otherwise they'd ignore you

Eh, advising me to take care of myself doesn't feel like pressure. When my T first suggested it to me, it felt so foreign. But now, it's part of my coping skills. Actually, I find it odd. For so many years people told me that I shouldn't take naps or sleep too much as it would mess up my sleep cycle. Now my T often advises me to go to sleep when I'm dealing with too much anxiety. Even my Pdoc has told me to take two of my Ativan to "knock myself out" when I'm in a crisis.

I have made my bedroom and my patio into my "safe" areas. When I sleep, I have my blackout curtains drawn, my salt rock lamp and white-noise machine on, and orange essential oil in a diffuser. And my bed has a ton of pillows and a down comforter. I also have candles I can light. I made my patio into a little garden with flowers and trees, a small table and chairs, a fountain, hummingbird feeder, and windchime. The patio is my T's fault She had me go out and buy a "butterfly" plant. Well, it was too lonely out there, so I just keep adding I also do many other things to take care of myself.

Of course I saw your post about DBT I actually read the posts I respond to I don't know why DBT seems so scary. If you break it down, it's basically CBT with Buddhist concepts. And it's not "therapy" really; it's a class (which you technically can't fail). I know the county aspect scares me. And the people! That actually terrifies me...seriously. But still, for some reason DBT just sounds scary. Maybe it's the structure? Idk. But I'm stuck with going, so I might as well make the best of it and try to gain something from it, right? And it sounds like you'll be in the same boat! We can paddle upstream together

Hmm. Talk with your T about starting session on a lighter note. Then you could bring in reminders for him: one day a feather, the next a flower, a cotton ball, a clown's nose. Lol. Idk. It would be kinda funny Make him a survival kit that helps remind him to relax a little.

Sorry for the weird ideas. I'm in a good mood for the first time in a month.

I have made a lot of progress in the 2 years. I just feel that at my age, I should have accomplished more. I think it's difficult for me because I have mental health issues, but I'm high functioning. I don't fit into the "normal world" and I don't fit into the "mental health world". I know I have potential for improvement, but I don't know how much my mental health will hold me back. I know I will never be able to handle a full-time job or go to school full-time. I don't even know if either is in my future. Intellectually I could do both, but not emotionally It's frustrating. And I've had people in my life who have told everything from I'm wasting my potential, I won't amount to anything, I'm just lazy, and that I could accomplish anything I want to. But none are completely true. My T, again, joked with me and told me that if I ever found someone who has their life figured out, to send them her way because she wants to know how So I guess for me, I'm on the right track and that's all that matters