Here's the email I sent to my Pdoc:
_________________________________________
[Pdoc],
I have been processing our last appointment with [T]. My last appointment with you was extremely difficult and emotional. This whole situation is extremely difficult and emotional for me. I want you to know I am trying my best to cope.

I know that I may or may not be able to see you one more time before your leave, but I want you to know that I would greatly appreciate it if I can. I left our last appointment with a lot of disappointment, confusion, and grief. I don't want that to be what I remember for the next 6 months. I understand though that there might be no other option.

I have no intention to manipulate you into changing your decisions about anything. I respect you and accept everything you said. I would, however, like to get some clarification from you so I can have a sense of resolution/closure.

Please, I hope you can empathize how difficult this is for me. It affects my relationship with you, but I know it is not caused by you. This will be a loss for me even though I know you're coming back. I feel grief, rejected, abandoned, confusion, betrayed, and not understood. You cannot take those feelings away because they stem from my past. My initial reaction was that I no longer wanted you as my psychiatrist. I wanted to run away from the pain (I still do). But with the help of [T], I realize that even though that's the easiest option, it might not be the healthiest. Maybe you can help me by allowing me to process this situation with you so I can understand your perspective?

I don't want to address my main concerns through email because I'm supposed to be working on verbal communication, and I feel it would be more beneficial to have an in-person conversation if possible. But I wanted you to be aware of my hopes if I do get to see you one more time.

I hope you can understand and I hope I've clearly communicated myself in this email. I think understanding your perspective could be a healthy way to help support me during this difficult time.