Christina, I have not truly slept soundly for 22 months now, but on good nights about 6 hours. It is restless and fitful at times, then I have 2 or 3 nights like tonight where I am so wound up that I don't sleep more than an hour or two before I give up and get out of bed. I think that has taken a toll on me as much as anything because it has been going on so very long.

I've had these kinds of moods before for a day but in a much milder form. Caffeine really affects me in small amounts, especially on the days that I am already wound up. Now at day 3 of being so high strung, it gets difficult to feel like a sane person. I don't think I am bipolar.

I do not have nor can I afford a P doc any longer. Plus I cannot take any psych meds, antidepressants quit working on me after klonopin rearranged my brain chemistry into a jumbled mess it seems. I think I have treatment resistant depression. Not sure how much longer I can hang with all this. Being so wired up and all my muscles feeling so tensed up unless I do my deep breathing to relax, it's no wonder I can't sleep. P docs do tend to lean towards meds in most cases, not sure that they could help me in any way. I could afford to go maybe once every 6 months but I fear he/she would just make me angry and frustrated unless I happened to find the rare empathetic one.

I agree that I am way overdue for a break. What I would give for a good night's sleep! Guess it wouldn't hurt to try and find what is reputed to be a good psych md or therapist. I've tried before many times to find someone decent. I am open to trying again.