When I was younger I use to cringe hearing the words "kill" "murder" "death". I use to wash my hands till they bled. I have grown out of those OCD tendencies long ago and now am kind of experiencing what you are going through. I find myself always searching for God, the existence of Jesus etc. I feel there is a Creator, the bibles stories don't seem to be real, BUT ALOT of what the bible says is making sense today (prophecies). OCD sucks, I feel bad for anyone who has to go through it because I am a sufferer myself. It can be used for positives but I wish I could control it more. I read about the illuminati as well, evil rich people. Thus, the illuminati makes me believe in Jesus because it makes me reflect on revelations, when Jesus will come down and everyone will be judged. A huge part in me believes that day is coming very soon. Sorr