Hi Leigh,

From what you have discribed, it sounds to me like your BF has self esteem problems.
That is what the lies are about and needing to hide his phone too, even needing to be on a dating site. People that have partners like this notoriously self blame and ask what is wrong with me? Well, most of the time it has nothing to do with the confused partner being lied to, it is more about how the partner with the low self esteem begins to feel inadequate and nervous and is trying to find a way to somehow boost his/her own ego.
So it is not "you" that is not good enough, it is more about your partner's fear and low self esteem which is not something "you" can fix for him. You have a job, he doesn't, you have things, he doesn't, you have direction, he doesn't but lies and pretends he does to help himself feel better.

You probably have had people like this in your life before and you have blamed yourself when you should "not" when they let you down. It can be very unfortunate when we care about someone, befriend them and because they have such low self esteem do things that are deceptive and hurtful. Learn the symptoms of when a person has "low self esteem issues" so you don't wind up coming up empty like this because your partner is too busy trying to figure out how to fix his own low self esteem and doesn't think of "you". These challenged individuals tend to withdraw and hide things and lie, not your fault.