I feel the exact same way. I haven't had a long break from my T. I think the longest was 2 1/2 weeks. And, as I posted before, it's so much easier to detach, suppress and not deal with all the wild emotions. I was just thinking last night "what is the point?". And, I've never asked my T. this. I know we are learning ways I relate to others and things I need to improve but what am I supposed to learn by attaching, soaking in what I can, grieving over what I can't have and then terminating?

I think Attachment Girl in Tales of a Boundary Ninja said all of this is to process what we didn't get as children. We need to run up against the boundaries and then grieve over what we didn't get with an attuned thearpist which will help heal. We need to interact with the T. and learn that we CAN get close to them, attach and it won't always hurt. For example, I have a hard time accepting nurturing from other (older) motherly type women. I instantly put a wall up. That's not great when that type of woman would be awesome to have in my life. So, I think I'm supposed to somewhat do that with my T. Learn to trust her, not put up my guard, learn that even though I may get hurt sometimes (as with all relationships), we can repair and move on maybe even strengthening our relationship. I think we are supposed to practice with them so it's easier for us outside of therapy.

I don't plan to ever terminate with mine. I've teased her that I'll be coming to her house when she retires (we're pretty much the same age - in our 40s). I plan to just space out until it's not as hard even if it's quarterly or twice a year. Perhaps this isn't the healthiest view, but it's making it easier for me right now.

Not sure if that helps. It kind of helped me to write it and I'm curious if my T. would agree.