Hello all and thanks for any advice you may offer. My mother divorced my father when I was young and immigrated to a new country as a single-parent. She worked hard to make life better for us, she was in and out of relationships and now has been married for 15 years. All throughout my teenage years and adult hood she has been extremely supportive, both financially and emotionally. While I know she loves me very much and has done everything in her power to give me all I need, I feel it is TOO much love. She seems to think her happiness is based solely on mine, she gives me money all the time even though I am an adult and working, she has never said no to me as far back as I remember and even as a kid, I have never had any responsibilities because she always took all onto her shoulders. When I was applying for university and mentioned to her that I was considering living out of state, she broke down crying and couldn't explain why she was crying. Finally I left the nest at the ripe age of 24 to live in another country. and have been there already for 8 years. Ever since my mother has been extremely depressed. I know it is natural for a mother to feel this bond, but in her case it seems really extreme. We speak twice a week via Skype and I used to visit for 3 week two times a year, now it is only once a year because I really cannot handle her attachment when I go home.she never wants to have an open conversation about how she really feels with my moving away and just starts randomly crying but assuring me she is not crying, when I see she I breaking down. She tells me she is happy so long as I am happy. The problem is she has no interests besides me, she has no close friends to speak with and it seems she doesn't feel comfortable talking with her husband about her problems. At this point I feel anxiety and disgust anytime we have to Skype or I meet her, though I hide it and smile, chat, and try to be a good daughter. This year, I just returned from home back to where I live and received an email from my step-dad telling me mom is really seriously depressed or worse, she isn't eating, she isn't speaking to him, giving him the cold shoulder and that when I am home she is a totally different person. This year my mother is also buying a small apartment for me abroad where I live. I know that she would do anything for me to live at home, but I made it clear that I am happy where I am and feel like it is my home now. verbally she respects it, but emotionally she cannot cope. After receiving the email from my step-dad I don't know whether I should continue living here or move back home. If I move, I know I will blame her for it in my heart, but if I stay I will be continuing to feel extreme guilt as I have been all my life towards her. For years I had serious insomnia when I moved abroad, with no real significant cause, but a panging guilt that I am causing my mother's depression must have been at the root of this. I suggested to my mother to get therapy and she knows she needs it, but I doubt she will go. I really don't know how to handle her emotionality. I feel she is an adult, she must deal with this herself, in fact there shouldn't be anything to deal with since moving out is a normal part of adult life - but I must also refer back to her history, that she has worked so hard for me and now I'm gone and she has no-one.... I know t his is how she feels, despite having a husband and a close family at home. Bah!