I feel wiped out, emotionally. They fought again last night, though not as terribly, it lasted for about as long, and by the end of it I was too exhausted to even cry. There's no way I am going to make it to spring. Is it just me or is everything getting progressively worse and worse? I don't remember it ever being this bad before. I feel like my health is declining - I'm too young to feel that way. No doubt it's because of the years of fighting and emotional disturbance and the onset of my depression when I was 12 (I haven't been 'okay' since). I don't want to scare anyone, but I am not okay. I feel my life's rope coming to its end. I need to go...somewhere. Anywhere, as long as it's far, far away from myself and my life. I no longer have any plans to get help for myself, it seems too pointless. Why should I go and dredge up all that crap from the past when I'm already so weak. I've been to therapists in the past and hey couldn't do anything for me. Why would now be any different? I feel like I'm at that point of no return. I can't recover the parts of myself that I've lost, and I just keep on losing more parts all the time. There won't be anything left.