I hear you, it is a humbling experience getting older. I am 50, my husband left me 3 months ago. At 40 my whole body changed, slowed down, started getting wrinkly, saggy etc. I was amazed that it was true. I also always thought in my future, I would be laughing with my husband, having lots of cuddles and fun sex, beer, enjoying our grandchildren and our hobbies. I can still do all that, except the sex. I hug everyone I know. Some of the teachers at my daughters school were looking at me in horror. I am trying to go for feeling attractive instead of just looking attractive - I put make up on and nice clothes, but there is only so much you can do with an aging body. Instead, I enjoy putting cream all over, going for walks with friends, going swimming and in the sauna, and I joined weight watchers on line - so I can choose if I want to lose weight or not, but still pay attention to eating healthy food. I also buy clothes for their fabric and colors. If I ever do get lucky, I want a man who likes to eat, laugh, and is willing to explore all the different ways of cuddling, massaging and feeling good. I got called beautiful in my warm ridiculous pink knitted hat yesterday, I'll have to be happy with that.