My T takes 10 weeks off during summer, 2 in December and 2 in April. That is definitely A LOT, considering that there is no out of sessions contact (he doesn't have a mobile or an email etc).

It is very very painful for me at times. Especially during his last break this summer. I had a really sudden and traumatic breakup (5 year old relationship) just a few months before my T's long holidays. It was a really bad timing for me to lose my T for 10 whole weeks. Many times, I thought I wouldn't make it. I would count the days/weeks etc etc.

But even so, I prefer it this way. Yes I can TOTALLY relate to everything you said. And even more. But, knowing myself, if my T were to give me freely his support, outside our session time, and soothe my pain every time, I wouldn't find it so necessary to try and overcome my attachment issues or learn how to look for such relationships in the outside world. I would never want to become fully independent. Even now I spend half my time daydreaming about my T taking care of me and being like that forever. A good T knows how to be the 'good enough' mother we never had; but he also knows that he must facilitate our transition from attachment to growing and existing in the outside world. Else he is just being a replacement of the ideal object we all long for; sadly, this hole is never really filled. And even if a T gave us everything, hypothetically speaking, we'd still want more. At least I know this is the case with me. So, yes, boundaries exist for a reason.. But of course I share your thoughts and feelings and pain.. Very often.

PS. I agree with Soccer mom about the Tales of a Boundary Ninja; it offers great insight as to 'what seems as a cruel T behavior, is actually the road to healing'.