Thank you, Kaliope, for responding. Yes, I have thought a lot about how and why they may be treating me the way that they are. And I do see how some of them may feel that way.

I suppose that I feel that way because I personally would be the first to volunteer to help if they were in my shoes. And I have encountered this fairly often with other situations, groups, etc. It is my personal issue, and I have just learned to move on for the most part. But it doesn't lessen the hurt or the pain that I feel when it happens. I guess I have some serious abandonment issues that don't help the situation.

For example, I was pregnant 11 times. Only two of them were born. One was an ectopic pregnancy. Btw...I had severe reactions to birth control. With each pregnancy after my 3rd, I guess, the families stopped being there, and as the losses went on I lost folks from the church family and friends. By the last one, which was a loss, even my husband wasn't "available" to take me in for the D&E. And he was the reason I was there...he would never agree to a vasectomy! I had to beg not only for someone to take me to the hospital, but for someone to take care of my 2 year old as well. And then maybe two hours after I was dropped off at home, the person caring for my little one called to say she had to bring her home, and dropped her off for me to take care of. Thank goodness I'd not taken the pain meds yet.

So, while in most folks' minds I should have stopped getting pregnant, that was not their call to make. But it was still very painful to deal with their lack of empathy. And I felt very much abandoned each time that I had to deal with it alone.

I waited about a month after finding out about the disease to tell anyone outside my immediate family...husband, kids, sister. I spent that time researching and yes, just dealing with my emotions. When I told folks, it was in stages slowly reaching outwards. I would give them a link to NORD that explained the exact disease if they were online. If not, I tried to explain it. And now that I have connected with others who have similar diseases and issues, I feel better about explaining it. I can certainly put it in writing, and quote the websites. I can even give them a picture of the surgery to help explain that. But I am still very hurt again by their lack of empathy. I am dealing with a very serious surgery and outlook. I could use a shoulder or two!

When I was told that I would have to pay for certain aspects of the pre-surgery tests, and knew that I couldn't afford it, a friend stepped forward and organized an online fundraiser. It is so sad to me that not one single person from my family or my husband's family donated to the effort. Even the friend noticed and asked me about it. That was a very public snub in my opinion?

I will put together something to share with them, one way or the other. But I doubt it will do any good. I'll let you know how it goes.