Hi everyone I'm very new here.

I used to think that my OCD was benificial, since my house was always clean & tidy, thus making me very proud of my surroundings, hence making me feel good about myself.
But I have now realized that these rituals are like a snake devouring its own tail...the bath will never be shiny enough, the beds will always need remaking, the garden will always need more weeding and I will never be good enough.
There was a time when I held down a full time job, and yet the house was always clean and tidy...now there isnt enough hours in the day to do all the chores I see that need doing. Where did I go?

I truly believe that my need to control and manipulate my surroundings is a direct result of my PTSD and anxiety. I would like to be alive in the real world again.