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mouse_ said:
Oh lord LOL, the thought of it is making me want to forget T completely LOL, I can imagine after the first night, waking up and having all those little niggly resentments I get in my head whenever anyone has stayed with me LOL. YOu know like, geez why not sit there and let me run house, and why not just help yourself ot my food and why not just stay in my favorite armchair and look bored at the progs I choose to watch and and and I think I'm happy to have the 2 x wky sessions, dont fancy T staying with me now LOL

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You crack me up.

But you know what? There is a lot of value to the silly scenarios and answers that we all post on here. They are funny, but they also say a lot.

Mouse, to me this is saying... That you are recognizing that there is a thing as too much of your T. You are owning and recognizing your autonomy. You describe your stuff; a life separate from T. You are seeing T as a real person, not so different from others who have stayed at your house. That's really, really healthy. You should be proud of yourself.

The way we all answer these types of questions is so significant. For example, I am nowhere near the place in which you have gotten to, Mouse. I hope that I will be there someday. But for now, I have yet to individuate from my T.

I know this because my first thought when I read this question was, "Ooooh, a weekend with my T! We would do everything together!!"

First my husband would say, "Oh! T is coming over! I will go spend the weekend at a hotel so you can have time with him." Then T would come over and we would basically spend the weekend going to every used book store in the city, finding amazing books for 5 or 6 dollars. We would visit a couple ethnic restaurants, most likely the Morrocan one, the Afghan one, and a few others. We would come back to my house and hang out with my birds, put on some Bob Dylan or Leonard Cohen, and talk about analysis. He would help me with my essay for doctoral applications (hey, why not? If he's here, lol...) He would sleep on the couch. I would make coffee in the morning.

So that's mine.

Very different from Mouse's, lol. But our answers to these types of questions reflect where we are at in therapy.

Mine reflected my lack of individuation from T, and my desire for us to have the same exact interests, and share them together. No separation at all. I also notice that it reflects my idealistic view of him. Nothing goes wrong during the weekend. It is perfect, everything is "amazing," right down to the books we find for the best price.