Thanks so much for your reply, Lmt2292! It helps so much to know that someone else has gone through this, though I am sorry you have. It's agony.

What you said about knowing there's good in the world and seeing it in the kindness of people around you is really helpful. That is the conclusion that I have finally had to come to also. Yes, they may be evil and powerful but there is good too and it is more strong than anything.