I have a similar kind of magical thinking we have been working to extinguish. Its that everytime i start feeling good and strong, my mother will call and make me feel like crap. The last time it happened, i really should have been safe, but verizon messed up!! Fml! But instead of taking 3 months to get over it and having to start all over again, i only lost two weeks. I was hanging on by the skin of my teeth but i did it - i stayed present. I didnt flip out and lose myself to the fear. Still not exactly sure what happens, but just wanted to say, keep trying to hang on thru it. Its like riding out a tornado.