Since my last post and the responses that have come in, I've spent some time thinking about what's been said, and my overall actions with all of this.

I'm going to have say that everyone is right, especially toolman65, how my Mom and I are in some bizarre dynamic where the roles are flipped, and I ultimately cave and do what she wants. I don't know how to change that, that's why I came here. Yes, the easiest answer is just to walk out the door and leave, but sometimes the easiest solution isn't always the easiest answer. I'm sure that sounds like just another excuse, and to an extent it probably is. But I can't just walk out the door either, I have responsibilities. Being out on my own doesn't frighten me, regardless of the financial support I've received from my parents. I have traveled abroad and have lived on my own long enough that that sort of thing isn't the problem.

Like I said, I've thought long and hard about it, and one thing that occurs to me is that if I just walked out right now, I don't know how my Mom would cope. As upset and angry as I am with her, I am concerned for her, and abandoning her just doesn't sit well with me. You have to remember, my Mom and I have been close my entire life, probably too close as I have now come to realize it.

As Open Eyes pointed out, I have no brothers or sisters, so I have no one to lean on. My Mother was also an only child. We literally don't have much of a family left, everyone's either passed away or extended family are too far extended to care of have any concerns for us. It's really just us in a way. My friends are all I have, and all but one has moved away. That one friend lives with his Mother as well. So to walk out and just crash on a friend's couch doesn't exist for me, it really doesn't. If I walked out the door I would have to go to a hotel, or possibly a homeless shelter.

I've also come to the realization that having a relationship with someone probably isn't something I'm not even ready for, no matter how much I try to convince myself I am. If I'm not willing to stand up for anyone including myself, no female partner will ever put up with my B.S. and the drama with my Mother. Which leads me to believe that I probably won't ever be able to handle a relationship as long as my Mom is in the picture. The Roger Ebert scenario of waiting until she's not around might actually be a real good comparison to my future. And believe me, that's not what I wanted either. Never having taken a lover in my youth at my age now really upsets me and fills me with regret. The idea of waiting until I'm in my 50's or 60's to have a relationship with someone is quite sad to me, but again, what choice if I can't grow a pair and do what's necessary. It's my own fault, not my Mom's, and I recognize that.

It's not as if I don't see what my options are and what I need to do to get MY LIFE in order to where I'm happy and make my own choices. But I do feel trapped, both financially and emotionally. I hate to make this comparison, but it's the best example I can come up with at the moment. It's like these women who live with their husbands or boyfriends who are physically abusive to them. They know it's wrong, but they stick around anyways hoping that their man will change. That's honestly what it feels like. Will my Mom change? Not likely.

I guess part of this for me is because this is all very new; as hovering as she's been my entire life, my Mom has never told me what to do with my life in regards to career or who my friends can be. So even though I expected some sort of negativity from her when I decided to start openly dating, I didn't expect THIS. She's never seen me with a woman before, and this is something I didn't go through in my teenage or young adult years. Not that I'm defending her, but perhaps had I gone through these typical stages in my adolescence things might be different? But as I said, she's always been hovering, or as I like to call it, silent-over-control. She was doing it all these years without me knowing. She never pushed for me to try and make it on my own without her or my Dad's help, she was always there to support me whenever I would fall, especially financially. I only see and understand now that wasn't the best thing for me, as it's kept me dependent of her.

I came to this forum looking for support and constructive ways to try and deal with this. Granted some of the suggestions have been good, but Rose76 is right, I am looking for people to round up thinking that will somehow help with arguing my point to her. It won't help, she's made up her mind, no matter who tells her. The fact that she can't hear me say it, let alone her friends, should have been enough for me to realize that.

With that being said, there really isn't anymore to say. I know what I have to do, but actually doing it probably isn't likely to happen. Maybe one day. So I thank everyone for your suggestions and help.