Hey, welcome. I am the same way, I use whatever drugs I can get my hands on, and for the longest time I convinced myself that I didn't have an addiction because I wasn't just using the same substance over again. I could stay clean for a couple of years like you but I always relapsed when I got too emotionally taxed. I have just started seeing a therapist that has experience working with addictions, and it is making a huge difference. Find someone like that. You already recognize that you're using the drugs as an unhealthy coping mechanism, and you can't work through all those buried emotions on your own. Good luck, keep posting.