I've gone from bottling up anger, not being able to express it or really feel it, to feeling it way too much. I can't escape the sensation of feeling very wronged by things that frustrate me. I don't know what to do with it (anger). It was wrong before when I let people take advantage of me but it's wrong now when I react. Maybe I'm too critical of people... when I feel like I can't count on them, when they disrupt my peace. I've gone from not asserting myself at all to feeling the need to control the space I inhabit and feeling weak when I inevitably can't... which in turn leaves me disgusted with myself because it's a reminder of when I let people walk all over me.

Sometimes I'm afraid I was a better person when I was depressed and self destructive. Now that I'm trying to take steps toward my own health & well being, and trying to problem solve instead of floating around aimlessly; I get really frustrated when I perceive that someone is making that harder for me. I guess patience and tolerance aren't as virtuous if you don't value your life- they are more of a gift when you care for yourself along with others.

It's confusing... I'm supposed to notice it and feel it but not act on it...