Just being honest with yourself, as you seem to be doing, is a very big accomplishment. And it is empowering. Spending less time and mental energy on blaming your mother for your decisions may allow you to start thinking, realistically, of how to make the best of the circumstances you live in.

It's perfectly okay to decide that you are not going to move out. The next thing to do would be to start looking for a real job, even if it were part-time. You'll have more dignity and self-respect when you are earning your way as best you can. From the way you write, you obviously have acquired a good basic education. You're obviously a man of intelligence. See what you can do to use your talents. Be open to opportunities outside of the work that your "dream" was making you hope for. Sometimes, we are not the best judge of where we can be most productive.

Growing up and being an adult male who has a "set," so to speak, is not a matter of making some dramatic decision to drastically alter your living situation. It starts by making the best you can of where you are at now. As you assume more adult responsibilities, your mother will see you in a somewhat different light. She is not going to give up wanting to cling to you, but you will have more weight in the relationship, as you take on more initiative to provide for yourself.

You may have more of a future than you can imagine right now. Use your abilities as best you can to be as productive as possible.